Proselytize Me

11/25/2015 9:29 PM

I’m worked up and in a bit of a zealous frenzy, like I’ve been warped in by a Protoss gateway.

I made the mistake of allowing three young, handsome gentlemen into my home.  They were going door-to-door in my neighborhood, proselytizing.  I have somewhat been waiting for this to happen… it was a really inopportune time, though.

The discussion, not surprisingly, was essentially fruitless, although, I feel I’m garnering some wisdom by reflecting on my mistakes.  My evening feels like it was high jacked and so I don’t want to belabor myself in writing and only giving myself like 10 or 15 minutes to “data dump.”  I want to talk with a lady friend, get to bed and be ready for the 10k Turkey Trot in the morning!

The thing is that I used to do the very same thing.  I always had mixed feelings, especially as I got older, about going door-to-door.  There is just something about trying to start up a conversation with a stranger under the premise that they need my help that never fully sat with me.  And the older I get, the more foolish I consider such a notion, such a world view to be.  While I admire the conviction and emotion on the one hand, I also despise the sense of rightness, of knowing it, of saying others are wrong.  The whole believers vs. unbelievers’ paradigm intrinsic in the proselytizing approach.

And so I’ve sort of held the desire to show someone straight, if they were to knock on my door, with my expansive knowledge and questions.  I’m sure some of my questions tonight blindsided them a bit.  It is unfair to them I’ve secretly held this desire from my past.  Certainly didn’t contribute to a fruitful discussion.

And growing up in a fundamentalist Church, very steeped in their Doctrine and ways, I have a sensitive nerve to this… and this certainly came out.  Our conversation quickly became somewhat combative.  They probably consider me an unbeliever.  Maybe I am.  But it is ironic, ironic indeed.

“do you believe in the Bible?”  My opened eyes see how narrow this is, how it is a one-sided question.  Which Bible?  Your Bible or My Bible?

I didn’t start the conversation off on a good note, as I was really on the fence the whole time… trying to engage in intellectual conversation and prepare a dinner… the dinner part definitely didn’t work out.  Blood sugar low… cortisol spikes.  And neither of us had the wisdom to take a breather and stop so that I could make decisions about the conversation or the dinner… bad thinking on my feet in this instance.

They derailed my evening.  One could say “high jacked” it.  And I reflect… I feel a sense of violation.  And of course this is too strong of a word, perhaps, for the conversation.  I invited them in, after all.  But it feels that way because of my past, because the Church of my youth violated me with their sense of authority, of knowing what’s right, of their elitism and of their egotism and being “right.”

Nothing like young and naive people to make you feel certain in the world.  Sponges believe whatever you preach, soaking it all up.  Sure is a great way to compensate for the ignorance, the lack of information, the fear, and uncertainty.  Religion is often a compensation for these in an individual (i.e. the leader(s)).  “too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things” (incubus).

I got about 2 minutes before need to start wrapping things up.

My main points and concerns with the Bible, which I may or may not have communicated clearly, or made myself understood.

English is a profane language.  There are a lot of politics involved with the Bible and a lot of history.  The Bible is an artifact of the Church.  It decides what is and is not canonical, but how can a Modern, really know?  Fundamentalism treats the English Bible like it’s the Word of God, often calling it that.  God would never speak such a language!

At first I split some hairs, telling them a more refined take on my belief on the Bible… but really I had to say “no” to his question “do you believe in the bible?” because of the way he asked it, the answer he wanted to hear, and the fact that if it wasn’t that answer it meant, NO, no matter what.

It’s not that simple.

When was Jesus born?  Who was he?  What about Amen…

So many things I can get worked up about, questions I have, information I lack, things that aren’t easy to answer.  How can someone tell me they know who Jesus is if they haven’t heard of Zoroaster, who started the religion of the Magi?  Jesus told the Samaritan you worship what you know not.

Nature is an avenue for God, the Word, to manifest itself, it is close to the original inspiration, closer than the English so-called “Scripture.”

Speaking in tongues is proof of being born again, of having holy spirit.  How can I know one is Christian if they don’t manifest the gift of holy spirit?  These proselytizers believe that the gift of speaking in tongues is more about translation about reaching out to other nations… etc.  I disagree, to a point.  The Church of my youth taught me the exact opposite.  But it is an interesting perspective I’m open to (heard it before) I wish I had time to evaluate, especially in connection with the Tower of Babel.

All this is gibberish anyway, and who really cares to listen… not many.  Babel, babel, babel

I told him to watch Money as Debt and I’d listen to him for an hour without saying a word, if they did that first.  Something tells me I won’t be hearing anything from him.

Jefferson said it best: “I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.”

To my previous “victims” of my own proselytizer efforts, I say to the world wide web on your behalf: I am sorry, please forgive me.  Out from Under, by Incubus

11/25/2015 9:55 PM


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